Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Bigger Their Buyout, the Harder They Fall

But at least they can pick up some of Spree's sweet spinners on their way down!

Now generally, I'm not one to write about what's trendy, but the agony and excruciating pain I began to endure tonight was overwhelming.  How can I legitimately call this a SPORTS website, and not take cheap shots at Stephon Marbury?  With my greatest restraint, I simply ask you, the reader, to track down the fabled STARBURY.  Surely you remember the only basketball shoe made entirely of cereal box tops and masking tape.  Please contribute in the Comments section.  Nothing I write about the shoe could possibly be as hilarious as your combined thoughts!

Segueing into my Reader's Digest "Cheers" moment -- thanks to everyone who has been visiting daily.  The site has been an overwhelming success through the first week.  If we can keep the interest high, the daily wager section on the winning side of even, and continue to grow in popularity, the sky is truly the limit.  I've done it before, but I should note the convenience of the Subscribe feature.  It can place the blog on your home page, in your Google Reader portfolio, or most any other whacked out docking port you feel is best.  A toast to the readers!

As a multi-player aside: don't fret too much about your Thunder tonight.  Every team playing the second half of a back-to-back in Denver ends up gasping for air by quarter 3, and clinging to existence by the fourth.  They'll all be back to normal soon enough.  Now, to sort through some Tuesday clutter.  Theme: video game consoles!

NES (Brings-a-tear-to-my-eye outstanding):
  • Rodney Stuckey - Rodney added rebounding to his game tonight, now virtually covering every reasonable statistic.  I'm not even sure Iverson's return will alter his impressive stats.  Make no mistake, the kid is good, but with Iverson sapping poor Stuckey's confidence with locker room jabs like, "Stuck, that's MY rock to clank off the underside of the hoop," Rodney was a sinking stone.  But, no more!
  • Ryan Gomes - Randy Foye's ankle went Exorcist, and Gomes is now the big dog in MN.
N64 (Quite impressive, ushered in a new dimension):
  • Antonio McDyess - Inflated numbers against the Knicks in OT, but still another solid performance that begs the question, "Has someone been reanimating dead tissue?"
  • Joel Przybilla - The Vanilla Gorilla got his rebounds and blocks again.  One cannot underestimate the value of a specialist come playoff time.  Don't say Danny Boy didn't warn ya!
  • Thaddeus Young - Getting his stroke back is the understatement of the week.  Young punched in 29 points on 65% shooting, but, as we've discussed before, doesn't do much else.  To his credit, Thaddeus did drop a pair of "balls of distance" upon his foes.
  • Leon Powe - As expected, Powe (Go Bears) stuffed a fat double-double down the throats of the Miami Warmth.  Need a fairly reliable rebounder for the rest of the week?  Captain Highstep is your man.
Sega Master System (Sounds promising, but what is it?):
  • Rasual Butler - Prepare yourself for some cornball when Butler has an off night (I've been prepping the joke "Unrasual" for a few days now), but in the meantime, lather up your Herbal Essense to the sound of 6 three pointers.  Rasual may find himself on my secret 3rd fantasy team before the week ends.
  • Mark Gasol - Manbeast was bound to slow a tad, but he's still a viable center option.
  • Ronnie Brewer - I want to be fair, so Brewer gets only a partial thumbs up (some sort of hybird toe-thumb?).  That being said, his 14 points and 2 steals without a turnover isn't unbearable.
  • Mario Chalmers - The lowest rung in this third tier, Chalmers is the sort of fantasy player that might (though in all likelihood I'll end up scorning the device later) get me to use the Yahoo! Fantasy "Watch Player" feature.  
Nintendo Virtual Boy (How does a green cube constitute virtual reality?  This blows.):
  • Paul Millsap - Millsap has performed adequately off the bench in each of the last two contests, but the slowly improving health of Carlos Boozer still means that Millsap is packing his $25 carry-on and puddle-jumping out of fantasy relevance.
  • Josh Powell - Grab the cushion, it's back to the pine next time.


Chubot said...

Said in the voice of the Simpsons' very own Comic Book Guy: "I believe the Virtual Boy emulated reality by way of a RED cube!"

Danno said...

Hahaha, touche.

But wasn't the inner screen gray/green? I could have sworn I placed my face to that awful red device, and stared into a green Mario Tennis mushroom trip...

DW said...

I think the Lakers game is very similar to that of the Jazz game last night. You are looking at the better team going on the road and getting points. Seems like a too good to be true scenario; it makes me hesitant.

Danno said...

That'll learn ya. When Kobe gets pissed, as he did after the Blazers game, the next few opponents beware. This second game isn't looking good for my picks right now...

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