Sunday, March 08, 2009

The Dawn of Organization

In an effort to truly streamline fantasy advice, tonight is the official unveiling of a ranking system.  Prepare a chalice for your drool as you gaze upon its greatness:

I'd give my right arm for...
  1. Matt Barnes - It's looking more and more like Barnes and Barbosa are going to be the Suns making the most of their newfound playing time, while Grant Hill's bionic ankle is content to chill out as a role player.  Grab Barnes if he's available, since today's decent game against the Spurs is a sure sign that he'll be just fine against most average and all fecal teams.
  2. Mark Gasol - After touting him for the last 3 straight nights, he better not be a free agent any more.  Scored 18 against the tallest man in the NBA tonight on over-50% shooting.
I'd give my bag lunch for...
  1. Anthony Parker - He's probably already off the waiver wire, but if not, take a peek, see if his understated all-around game would help your team.  Not for the manager seeking lightening in a bottle.
  2. Nenad Krstic - His performance this evening was "right arm"-worthy, but Kevin Durant is expected back soon, and he'll settle back into "bag lunch" zone.
  3. Andres Nocioni - I honestly can't figure why the Maloofs didn't hold head coach Kenny Natt hostage in the Palms back room and force him to play Nocioni.  He is better than at least 3 of the Kings 5 every-day starters.  This is one of those high-upside pickups.  He may fall out of the rotation, but I'd wager he's worth stuffing at the end of your bench.  If he continues to start, all your points, rebounds, 3's, and steals are belong to you.
Only if it's free...
  1. Leon Powe - Glen Davis may have hurt an ankle, and KG is still out another week.  Powe could be in line for a couple double-doubles this week if indeed Davis stays out.  Don't run to get Leon, but watch closely for info on Glen Davis missing time.
  2. Roger Mason - 3-balls flying every which way.  If he can heat back up, could be a nice points/3's guy until Manu comes back in a couple weeks.
  3. Thaddeus Young - Only willing to touch the ball if he's about to shoot it.
  4. Francisco Garcia - Back from his injury and the first man off the Kings' bench.  Cisco's jacking minutes from the starting PG and PF, strangely, and should put up pretty reasonable stats in every category except assists.
Not even if they paid me...
  1. Kyle Korver - Only good in Canada, apparently.  Also, the winner of my inaugural "Face Punch" award due to his similarities to Ashton Kutcher.
  2. J.R. Smith - Dead to me.
So now we've banged out the mind-blowing new ranking system, it's time to discuss the Sunday additions to the blog.  Finally functional is the convenient "Feed" feature.  You can subscribe to the blog in two swift strikes of the left mouse button.  Save yourself the time of typing in the full website URL by having the website come to you!  The other changes to the site are mostly aesthetic, with the smackzone shifting into the right sidebar, comments now accessible to the general public (rather than Google users only), and the Google Searchbar providing more thorough results (comparable to using the traditional search at Google.com).

Please take a moment to Bookmark the site!  Your once-daily site visits are pure "liquid schwartz" in my blog's fuel tank.
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