Saturday, April 04, 2009

I Put a Spell on You

One can't be completely certain, but it's beginning to appear like the Washington "Zephyrs" may have poisoned Lebron James, or at the very least gave him a case of the wizards.  Coming off a pathetic upset loss to Washington, Cleveland had to fly to Orlando and tangle with Dwight Howard and his longbowmen, and it did not go well.

Orlando out-shot Cleveland 54% to 37% and beat the Cavs by 29, one of the three worst losses for a 60-win team in NBA history.  The Cavs will bounce back, but Lebron and Daniel "Booby" Gibson may want to think about cutting out the ridiculous pre- and mid-game antics for the time being.  For those who didn't get a chance to giggle at the footage, the Cavs, during their win streak, began cycling through a variety of absurd pantomimes.  Before the game, the entire team would gather near the 3-point line nearest the team's bench, while Lebron pretended to set the timer on an invisible camera, then dash into the group photo with the rest of his pals.  In a blowout win over the Dallas Mavericks, Daniel Gibson missed his first 4 shots, then the fates aligned, the kid made a bucket, the Mavs called timeout, and 6 Cavaliers players gathered around Gibson played make-believe once again.  In an effort to remain thorough, it appeared that this silliness was that Gibson's hands were being lit on fire, to signify his shooting touch.  1-for-5 from the field only counts as "on fire" if you're too close to a faulty toaster oven.

Generally I'm a fun-loving sort, and I tend to enjoy some light horseplay, but I fear the Cavs are getting a tad out of hand.  It's becoming more and more evident that Lebron's lust for the spotlight is bigger than Shawn Kemp's private Hostess compound.  It's a tough situation, too, because Lebron James is currently unstoppable, so he can really get away with anything, so long as its legal.  When James was being interviewed courtside during the NBA All-Star weekend Slam Dunk Contest, it became clear he was annoyed that the interview topic was, well, the Slam Dunk Contest, so he "flipped it for real" (to steal a line from the Usual Suspects).  The interview became a tease-fest, Lebron trying to egg the nearby audience into cheering for his decision to participate in the Dunk Contest next year.  When that wasn't enough, Lebron clubbed the Control Room Manager, and pointed the arena lights directly on his own face once again.  I can tell you right now this is going to get ugly when Lebron starts to show signs of aging.  I'll remind you all of this moment 12 years from now.

No pickup list today, since the weekend's Emergency Reserve list was printed yesterday.  I'll paste Sunday's below for those who haven't had a chance to check it out yet:
  • Matt Barnes - 12 points, 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 threes, 1 steal
  • Grant Hill - 18 points, 6 rebounds, 2 steals, 1 block
  • Chris Duhon, Wilson Chandler, Jared Jeffries - See Saturday
  • Raja Bell - 2 threes, 1 steal
  • Rodney Stuckey - See Saturday
  • J.R. Smith - See Saturday
  • Mike Miller - 6 rebounds, 6 assists, 2 threes
  • Ryan Gomes - 16 points, 1 three
  • Steve Blake - 10 points, 7 assists, 2 threes
  • Shane Battier - (It pains me to say it, but he's been hitting some 3's lately.  Still don't think he's even close to a "No Stats All Star") 2 threes, 2 steals
  • Jarrett Jack - 16 points, 5 assists, FT%
  • T.J. Ford - 12 points, 8 assists, 2 steals
  • Kelenna Azubuike - 16 points, 7 rebounds, 2 threes
  • Jason Thompson - 10 rebounds
  • Francisco Garcia - 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 steals, 2 blocks, 1 three
  • Spencer Hawes - 14 points, 7 rebounds, 1 three, 1 block
  • Chris Kaman - See Saturday
  • Trevor Ariza - 1 three, 2 steals
In tonight's article we'll see how I fared in my Saturday predictions, and analyze the poll results this week.

As far as a site update is concerned, many of you have probably noticed a few small changes.  Microsoft has bent to my will and added this site to their beta advertising program.  The tiny black square ad is courtesy of the good people at Microsoft.  The SMACK ZONE has been functioning properly, and people are indeed writing small notes in there, but it seems to take a few seconds to load.  I'm on the fence about eliminating it to speed up load times, but I'd rather just respond to the people's desires.  Comment on this article with any thoughts!

7 comments:

jessbear@berkeley.edu said...

Any thoughts.

Danno said...

sigh

Chubot said...

Keep the smack zone and let those using dial-up fall by the wayside where they belong.

Danno said...

Hahaha - long live the smack zone!

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